Google Vs Facebook; Round 1; DING DING DING!

This battle between social networks is like watching two retarded cavemen trying to stab each other with blunted knives. Its like watching Homer Simpson and Peter Griffon strangle each other while the Bennie Hill theme plays in the background. Regardless of who wins, you know its not going to be pretty.

Google, the massive company that spawned from a single search engine, has set its eyes on Facebook. Google may have the search engine crown, but its the social media crown that that decides the fate of the internet universe. And currently, Facebook has that crown. We all know it has that crown. Unless you live under a rock, or live in Zimbabwe, if you don’t have a Facebook account, you might as well not exist. (even peoples’ BABIES have Facebook account’s now.)

Facebook, upon hearing of Google’s devious plans of internet dominance, decided to once again whip out the dreaded “It’s time to change Facebook” game plan with its software engineers. Once again Zuckerberg is getting out his whip, and cries of “dislike THIS!” sounding throughout the hallways.

So in traditional Facebook fashion,  Facebook launched new features to the painful cries of “mercy, mercy!” from their Facebook audience. These things called “Smart lists” and “Subscribe tools” were launched to make customization even harder easier for users. In addition, Facebook decided to launch a mini news feed, like a Facebook within a Facebook, as if people didn’t spend enough time on their Facebook account already.

This guy looks like he's forcing his smile a bit too much. Just like Zuckerberg when making this announcement, I bet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meanwhile, at Google…

Google, in a stroke of absolute stupidity, decided to launch its darling baby Google+ into a limited beta, where only a certain number of people could join. Google did not take advantage of the “buzz” (hardy har har) in the summer when it first launched. But that was early summer. By the time Google+ went public on Tuesday, mainstream users had all but forgotten about the test project. Instead, people were too busy complaining about the Facebook changes that required more micromanagement than caring for an infant child to even notice the Google+ opening on Tuesday.

As if  that’s not enough the most popular person on Google+ is….Mark Zuckerberg. That’s like Mark Zuckerberg defecating on Google Headquarters’ front lawn. That’s like Zuckerberg slapping Larry Page, Eric Schmidt, and Sergey Brin while simultaneously checking out his Google+ account. Facebook is to Google like Kryptonite is to Superman. No matter how hard Google tries, Facebook trumps them without even batting an eyelash.

 

Can anyone say "In your face" Google? (No pun intended)

 

Though Google+ has a slew of cool features, its limited beta test period had hindered its momentum considerably. There wasn’t a rush to Google+ like Google had hoped. But, to Google’s advantage, Facebook continues to crap out features that people just don’t want. When Facebook launched its new features, people found a way around them in developer tools that reverted Facebook back to the old version. Too bad for THEM! Facebook quickly stamped that crap out.

Google is down for the count but certainly not out. Round 1, we have to give to Facebook. But we haven’t seen the last of Google+ yet!

Gold Digger fail – Oksana vs Mad Mel!

Back last summer, a series of recorded tapes were released by Mel Gibsons sociopathic gold digging ex-girlfriend, Oksana Grigoveria, “documenting” the incidents of Mel Gibson’s rants at her during their deteriorating relationship. Unfortunately for the Mind Grind, there are so many quotable comments said by Mel Gibson, that we really cant pick the sweetest ones,…

Us Justice Department versus AT&T; T-Mobile wars

AT&T realized that handling the second leading national cell phone carrier isn’t enough, and wants to acquire T-Mobile. So, in the spirit of screwing not only its consumer base but the rest of the American citizens, AT&T plans to assimilate T-Mobile, the carrier ranked #2 in lowest costumer satisfaction by consumer reports,  into the AT&T…

2 American hikers jailed for crossing Iranian border, how stupid can you be?

Two American hitchhikers, Shane Bauer and Josh Fattal  were just thrown in prison – 8 years – for crossing the Iranian border, on charges of “illegal entry” and “espionage”. Yeah, those hikers sure look sinister. The Iranian government suspects that these hikers are super secret American CIA agents spying on Iranian activity. The third hitchhiker,…

Should Starbucks had paid 75G’s in a settlement….for dwarfism?

Okay, heres the backstory. In 2009, a dwarf woman applied for a position at Starbucks, probably the biggest coffee chain in the world. On her third day of training, she requested a stool and/or stepladder to aid her in doing the job. The store declined and booted her, claiming that she could be a danger…

Casey Anthony’s Parents to Appear on Dr. Phil

Casey Anthony’s parents are going to be appearing on Dr. Phil. :O The mere utterance of this name brings out some of the deepest and most powered reactions in people across the country. Two months ago, the jury’s verdict of “not guilty” certainly shook up everyone in the nation. Facebook posts, tweets, blogs all erupted…

Brooklyn’s New Delicacy, Pigeon

Oh yes. You’ve read the title right. But they aren’t serving Pigeon in restaurants. Instead, you can go to your local poacher, perhaps in Prospect Park, and order own your dish of roasted Pigeon over a fire. At The Mind Grind, we deployed some minions over to check it out. And boy, we were surprised…

Chaos in London; What its really all about. The British Nightmare.

This has not been the first time the streets of London have erupted in rage. The constant tightening of the noose around the necks of British citizens is now at an all time high. Back in December 2010, peaceful student riots degenerated into violence as Parliament approved a triple fold increase to student tuition. This…