Google Vs Facebook; Round 1; DING DING DING!

This battle between social networks is like watching two retarded cavemen trying to stab each other with blunted knives. Its like watching Homer Simpson and Peter Griffon strangle each other while the Bennie Hill theme plays in the background. Regardless of who wins, you know its not going to be pretty.

Google, the massive company that spawned from a single search engine, has set its eyes on Facebook. Google may have the search engine crown, but its the social media crown that that decides the fate of the internet universe. And currently, Facebook has that crown. We all know it has that crown. Unless you live under a rock, or live in Zimbabwe, if you don’t have a Facebook account, you might as well not exist. (even peoples’ BABIES have Facebook account’s now.)

Facebook, upon hearing of Google’s devious plans of internet dominance, decided to once again whip out the dreaded “It’s time to change Facebook” game plan with its software engineers. Once again Zuckerberg is getting out his whip, and cries of “dislike THIS!” sounding throughout the hallways.

So in traditional Facebook fashion,  Facebook launched new features to the painful cries of “mercy, mercy!” from their Facebook audience. These things called “Smart lists” and “Subscribe tools” were launched to make customization even harder easier for users. In addition, Facebook decided to launch a mini news feed, like a Facebook within a Facebook, as if people didn’t spend enough time on their Facebook account already.

This guy looks like he's forcing his smile a bit too much. Just like Zuckerberg when making this announcement, I bet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meanwhile, at Google…

Google, in a stroke of absolute stupidity, decided to launch its darling baby Google+ into a limited beta, where only a certain number of people could join. Google did not take advantage of the “buzz” (hardy har har) in the summer when it first launched. But that was early summer. By the time Google+ went public on Tuesday, mainstream users had all but forgotten about the test project. Instead, people were too busy complaining about the Facebook changes that required more micromanagement than caring for an infant child to even notice the Google+ opening on Tuesday.

As if  that’s not enough the most popular person on Google+ is….Mark Zuckerberg. That’s like Mark Zuckerberg defecating on Google Headquarters’ front lawn. That’s like Zuckerberg slapping Larry Page, Eric Schmidt, and Sergey Brin while simultaneously checking out his Google+ account. Facebook is to Google like Kryptonite is to Superman. No matter how hard Google tries, Facebook trumps them without even batting an eyelash.

 

Can anyone say "In your face" Google? (No pun intended)

 

Though Google+ has a slew of cool features, its limited beta test period had hindered its momentum considerably. There wasn’t a rush to Google+ like Google had hoped. But, to Google’s advantage, Facebook continues to crap out features that people just don’t want. When Facebook launched its new features, people found a way around them in developer tools that reverted Facebook back to the old version. Too bad for THEM! Facebook quickly stamped that crap out.

Google is down for the count but certainly not out. Round 1, we have to give to Facebook. But we haven’t seen the last of Google+ yet!

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